probabilityfields

I got off work and went home, got in a tiff about dishes and food taking up space in the fridge with my roommate so I really needed that cigarette on the way into Austin. I was going to a party at a friend’s new duplex. There were sure to be many people there I didn’t know, but it wasn’t my only option for the night.

Every year my fraternity throws its invitation-only bacchanal called Masquerade. The doors are locked at midnight and no one else allowed in. Then the guests are divided into groups that move from room to room, each featuring a different theme and a drink, but the party eventually dissolves into chaos, divided into those that are puking and those that are getting laid.

At my first two Masquerades I wavered between the distinctions, but my last two were disasters. I spent both nights taking care of freshman girls whom I knew only barely as much as they knew their limits. Two years of getting vomited on was enough to scare me away.

By contrast, the party in Austin was small. The UT game was over and people were thinning out. Old people. I managed a few decent conversations, mostly about sports, the Astros, Vince Young. But when you’ve got a six-pack of Negra Modelos and eighteen Camel Lights (I gave two to a homeless man on the way), you don’t need people to talk to you so much as look at you.

After the better part of that six-pack, things went more smooth. A couple tequila shots, a glass of Taittinger Champagne, many more cigarettes and everyone is your best friend or worse enemy all at the turn of a phrase.

Our hosts kicked us out at one and we were debating a trip to a bar when we remembered to set our clocks back. We had an extra hour of drinking. We jumped in the car and at the behest of Chrispy from the back seat turned up the confused imagery of Oasis’s “Champagne Supernova”. As we turned to roar out of the neighborhood I kindly reminded a couple of pedestrian costume-clad girls to set their clocks back. “Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball…”

The Gingerman was the obvious choice. Laid-back environment, good music, and a wall of taps that spewed forth the one thing that either proves God’s existence or man’s triumph over him. Unfortunately, the bar tender informed us that they would be closing at the “old two” not the “new two”. But we ordered drinks and Tony and Chrispy sparked up a discussion of the movie “Saw” with an older gentleman at the bar, while Jennifer and I went for a smoke.

I turned around to the bar’s customers and asked them all to come with us which drew strange looks from the hipsters at the pool table, but the couple on the couch agreed to join us if I’d provide the smokes. It turned out that these folks, Amanda and Jeff, were quite nice and we all agreed to move on to the next bar shortly after settling Tony and Chrispy’s argument, which had now escalated into “Saw” versus “Seven”.

“We’re going to drink somewhere until ‘new two’ even if it’s at Oil Can Harry’s,” a gay bar. But I was informed that they even had a line to get in. Once we left though we realized that Fado, the rowdier neighbor of the Gingerman was in full swing. It was Guinness for the rest of the night.

Their patio was packed with costumed lushes and the music was loud enough to give us drunks excuse for yelling at each other. I had no costume but while I watched Tony climb up between two stone walls with a leg on each one in the back alley I noticed a ball of tinsel which I quickly placed on my head and fashioned into a wig. I danced around and sloshed my beer and ended up getting close with a few girls who took my tinsel and wrapped it around themselves. I flung a long strand around a guy who seemed to be with the girls but he was having none of me.

The music stopped and a voice told us to finish our beers. We left but the tinsel stayed on the ground in big mess. I shouldn’t have been driving, but I made it back. I was so drunk that I knew trying to sleep would be sickening so I walked laps around my house, up and down stairs, drinking water and eating a hot dog bun. I cleaned dishes, emptied the garbage, scrubbed the counters, anything to keep my blood running and keep me awake. After I pissed twice I figured I was good. I felt excellent today.